My step-father, Lionel O'Brien

In a lot of ways Lionel O’Brien is a good man. In fact, in most ways he’s a very good man. I was twelve, almost thirteen, when he married my mother. Kevin was nine. Mom had been working as the receptionist at his law firm in Johnson City but she had to quit working there when they got engaged because he didn’t want to appear to show favoritism to his fiancée and any of the other staff feel uncomfortable. That put mom out of work and he didn’t want her to be uncomfortable either so their engagement was only three months long. Mom, Kevin, and I moved into the house he had lived in with his first wife. Why would I feel uncomfortable about that? His daughter, Samantha, became my older sister. In every way imaginable they opened the door to their home and their life and welcomed us in. And we went in. We joined their life. We started having hot breakfasts instead of cereal and fruit. We joined the Westfield Independent Church. Kevin and I each got our own bedrooms and the same Interior Designer that decorated his office decorated both rooms. Why would I feel uncomfortable about that? I suppose I could have gotten Samantha's old clothes as hand-me-downs, but that never happened. I got my own new clothes every August before school started. Samantha picked them out. I could have said I wanted something else, but she did have good taste, and besides, I never let myself want something else.

One of the new rituals was a formal lunch every Sunday after church. We kept our Sunday clothes on and ate in the dining room instead of the kitchen. The unspoken rule was that after we had eaten Lionel would ask each of us a question about our life and we each got a turn to talk about whatever he had asked about. Once each of us, including mom, had had a turn to speak he would lean back in his chair and say that something one of us said reminded him of something he had been thinking about. His pontifications could last anywhere from fifteen to forty-five minutes, even longer if someone asked a question. He is a very intelligent man whose opinions are all well thought out and well articulated. He is sure he is always right and he generally is. He is also sure he is interesting but that is one thing he does not get right.