The Natasha at Manna Bagel

Susan just smiled and looked at me with one of those expressions that said, “You will realize what you just said if you just think about it for a moment.” Susan is the manager of Manna Bagel on State Street and she took my order last Wednesday. “I’ll have a Nattie,” I had said. After a minute she could no longer wait so she asked, “Do you mean a Natasha?” A “Natasha” is a Continental (an open faced grill cheese sandwich with tomato) with a slice of onion on a pepperoni bagel instead of sesame seed bagel. It is a variation of the sandwich my mother made for my brother Kevin and I. It was Kevin’s idea to name the sandwich after me, or at least he named it the Natasha. So you can see why I was a little embarrassed … it is just weird to ask for something named after yourself … especially if you forget the name.

If you go to Manna bagel for lunch there are many great things to order from the menu, but if you want a Natasha (which is not on the menu) than make sure to order it from Susan or Matthew. I like mine with a side of Terra chips.

Buffalo Chili at the American Indian Museum

While I was in DC on a case I had to kill some time before meeting the President...of National
University Law School, not The President. We were meeting at the cafateria in the Smithsoniam Museum of the American Indian because he was in a meeting there and that was all the time he could spare me. The cafeteria serves Native American dishes. I had the Buffalo Chili over fried flat bread with a side salad of watermelon and green tomatos. ABSOLUTELY WONDERFUL. If I am ever in DC again it will be on my "must do" list. There were a lot of other dishes that looked good and I really should try them ... but that is just not my style. I found what I like there, it is what I will go back for, why would I try something else?

Nathan's shirt

When I drove to work yesterday I passed a man walking on the Virginia side of State Street in downtown Bristol. I did not recognize this man but he was wearing a yellow Hawaiian shirt that reminded me of my husband’s favorite Hawaiian shirt. Nathan is actually my ex-husband, but there are still times when memories of him make me smile and this was one of those times. We had been married for only eight months or so and his alcoholism had not kicked in yet so I did not know enough to be alarmed by the story he told me after I unpacked his Hawaiian shirt from his suitcase. He had to explain why there were so many cockle burrs stuck to that shirt and it needed to be a very good explanation because the cockle burrs were stuck to the inside of that shirt.

Nathan had gone to Indianapolis to call on an Insurance Company’s claim center on behalf of the Hiram Moreland Detective Agency where we both worked. He got friendly with a couple of claims managers and they invited him out for dinner. Nathan is not really a drinker, at least he was not a drinker yet. They had worked late that evening and it was after 9:30 when they picked Nathan up at his motel. They went to a Mexican place and he had a beer with the chips and salsa. He quickly ordered another beer when he discovered that his entree was hotter than he expected. One of the men ordered after dinner drinks for the table. The most I had ever seen him drink was two beers or two glasses of wine so I knew he was already past his comfort zone. After dinner they went somewhere else for dessert but the place they went only served drinks. I knew it was a strip club but I did not let him know that I knew. After several Navy Grogs they started to take him back to his motel on the west side of Indianapolis. Nathan was unable to hide his inebriated state from his hosts who thought it would be funny to describe going out to breakfast and getting some greasy fried eggs. After hearing the phrase “greasy fried eggs” one too many times Nathan tried franticly to roll down his window. He just barely got it rolled down as far as it would go before he lost control of the contents of their evening’s entertainment. Unfortunately for them all Nathan did not realize that the windows in the rear doors of most cars only go down half way. In an effort to minimize the damage of his miscalculation Nathan tried to clean up as much as he could with his shirt. He was too drunk to throw up through the open portion of his window but not too drunk to take care of his favorite Hawaiian shirt which he removed, set aside, and then used his white tee shirt as a rag/mop. Once they got to the Holiday Inn parking lot the driver got some rags and a bottle of windshield wiper fluid to finish the cleanup job Nathan had started with his undershirt while Nathan stood bare-chested and held his precious shirt in his hands. All was well until they heard a screech of tires and a collision from Interstate 465 bypass behind the motel. They could not see the accident because there was a large field and a dip between the parking lot and the highway. Nathan was the last to sprint towards the accident because he took the time to put his shirt on, not noticing that it was inside out. Being a former baseball player and the youngest of the three, “helper” Nathan quickly outran his hosts and was the first one to reach the wire fence that bordered the highway. He did not see the fence until he hit it full speed.

It was a good story and I remember it with amusement but what brought a smile to me today was the look on his face when I held up that shirt with the cockle burrs inside it. Nathan looked at the shirt and then looked at me with the kind of “who me?” crooked smiles little boys use to get out of trouble. I guess I am one of those women who likes for men to have a little bit of little boy inside of them. But like most women I could not wait forever for a little boy to grow up.

Murder Takes The Cake

Always carry a good book. It is a rule that can carry you through those times when waiting is the order of the day. After an eight hour drive to Washington DC last Thursday and then a visit to the payroll department at National University Law School all I got was an appointment with the president (of the school not the country) for Friday. With time to kill I visited Legal Seafood for dinner. Legal Seafood is famous for clam chowder but let’s face it, famous clam chowder is still clam chowder so I had what turned out to be the best crab cakes I had ever eaten. I finished my evening by soaking in a warm bath and reading the last three chapters of Murder Takes the Cake by Gayle Trent. It was a great read, filled with characters with great names like Yodel Watson and her sisters Harmony and Melody. The plot line was intriguing with loads of possible murder suspects. The characters rang true, they reminded me of my grandmother’s Eastern Star friends. I found myself wondering if Gayle’s grandmother knew mine. Anyway, it was nice to finish off a nearly pointless day with a good soak and a good read. Be careful when you read this book though because as you read you will finding yourself with a craving for cake.

THE BEST COMMERCIAL ON TV

The Twin's Elmo Birthday Party

The first time I met Dwayne, Debbie’s husband, was at the two-year-old birthday party for their twins, Abe and Matilda. As I have already mentioned I see Abe as a rhinoceros and Matilda as a fox. For example, Abe is atypical little boy and loves all things with wheels. Abe’s big present was a wagon. It was a big wagon with tires instead of solid rubber wheels and what looked like a wooden split rail fence all around it. A great wagon but too big to have inside their home. Matilda is a typical little girl and what she loves most is being a big girl. Her main birthday present was a baby stroller for her doll. The stroller was small enough and light enough to have inside the house. With the wagon outside and the stroller inside drew Abe’s attention and whenever it was left unattended he would push it in a circle through the kitchen, to the family room, then the living room, and finally through the dining room and back to the kitchen. Like a rhino, when he saw what he wanted he put his head down and went right to it, no guile, no deception. Now Matilda, the fox, would just set him up by leaving it where he would see it and then when he was pushing it around with his head down she would wait until their were no adults around and then sneak up on him and snatch it away. He never saw it coming. She saw everything. After about the forth time this little drama re-played Abe ran head long at the couch and threw himself down in sheer frustration. I had to feel for the little guy with his face buried in the cushions and his arms flailed out to either side. From the door to the kitchen his dad simply said “you better get used to that buddy,” while Matilda stood innocently by with the most angelic expression on her face.

Top 10 Romantic Comedies

The other day I pulled another all-nighter. The man I was watching was supposed to be alone all might and as far as I could tell he was. Time will tell if he is innocent but he was not guilty last night. As for me, I got nine hours on the clock and another top ten list under construction. Last night’s list started out to be an all-time romantic comedy list but I decided to divide it into two lists, a modern one and an older one. Here’s my modern list with a three way tie for the top spot:

1. Sweet Home Alabama
1. French Kiss
1. Knotting Hill
4. America’s Sweethearts
5. My Big Fat Greek Wedding
6. Housesitter
7. Roxanne
8. When Harry Met Sally
9. Overboard
10. The Bounty Hunter (I haven’t actually seen this movie but it made the list by virtue of the commercials)

HONORABLE MENTIONS:

Fools Rush In (This movie didn’t make me laugh so much but it is here because it has the greatest movie line said by a guy which was, “You are everything I never knew I always wanted”)

Milk Money (As long as Fools Rush In made by virtue of a great guy line, this movie is here because of a line delivered by Melanie Griffin. She told a prepubescent boy that, “Yes, there is a place on a woman’s body that if a guy touches it she will do whatever he wants. It’s her heart.”)

MATILDA SQUIRTS HER MOTHER

I had lunch at Debbie’s yesterday. I wrote about meeting Debbie at the Sunny Side Up Cafe on June 7th. We have since become friends. She is an amazing mother and she just about has to be with the twins she has. If Abe were an animal he’d be a rhinoceros. That boy runs wherever he goes. I swear whatever he doesn’t run into he climbs on, and then falls. She has to keep a step ahead of him every minute he is awake. Matilda, on the other hand, is a fox. She watches everything her mother does and is determined that she could do everything too. Watching Matilda does not carry the same level of urgency that watching Abe does, a fact that Matilda has already discovered and knows how to put to good use. Once when Debbie was busy with Abe, Matilda pushed a kitchen chair to the sink and started doing the dishes. Water was everywhere but how could you do anything but smile when a child tries so hard to be helpful. And being helpful is her life’s work, if she finds anything out of place she will put it where it belongs immediately. Unfortunately she has her own ideas about where its’ place might be. Debbie found a potato in her underwear drawer and her husband found one of his golf balls in the fruit and vegetable bin of their fridge. Matilda finished her lunch first so she was allowed to get down while Abe had to stay in his highchair until he finished his orange. I was told that getting him to eat his fruit at lunch was a regular battle of wills. Matilda opened the back door, went out on their deck, and peered in at us through the kitchen window next to the breakfast table where we were still sitting. Debbie with her back to the window and bragged about how easy Matilda is to take care of while I watched the little cherub face smile at us. A moment later Matilda was next to the table again holding a small squirt/spray bottle, which her mother filled with water. As she handed the squirt bottle to her daughter Debbie said, “That’s an outside toy. Take it outside before you squirt anything.” Debbie returned to her seat and as she was handing Abe another orange wedge, she suddenly flinched forward as if she had been zapped in the back with a stun-gun. Her angelic daughter had done exactly as she was told. She did not squirt anything until she was outside. I’m guessing that the water in the bottle was pretty cold.